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Are You Selling-Out or Opting-In?

Updated: Jan 20, 2021

  1. What do you think held you back?

  2. What does it feel like not to act even when later you wished you had?

  3. What does it feel like to go to the edge and to be pulled back by fear and self-doubts?

  4. What resonates with you about accountability and taking responsibility?

Selling out refers to the compromising of one’s integrity, morality and principles in exchange for some personal gain or because at that moment, we lack the courage to take a stand, and thereby, stand out. Selling out is when you are sacrificing your true goals, ideas or complete self for what you think you should do. You may profess to hold some things as important, yet your actions do not reflect this.

Our client Dianne’s fears of failure had been keeping her dreams on the back-burner for far too long. With an advanced degree in business, she declared her corporate job was not a true expression of the work that she really wanted to do. Her interests were much more geared to the fitness and aesthetics arena. Nonetheless, she believed that, although miserable in it, the corporate world was the pay-off for her training. This constant push-pull dichotomy, joy versus expectations, was a continuing source of frustration as she focused on her discomfort rather than the possibilities that opting in could provide.

What is it about past events and a sense of inevitability that can get us so off track?

Client Jessica, on the other hand, used dance and salsa in particular as her metaphor for change. She was languishing in a dead end relationship and a career that was draining; yet, the image of freedom through dance was both appealing and daunting. She dreaded embarrassment and was self-conscious about her non-athleticism. Most of all, she feared the judgment of her friends and colleagues until she was invited to a birthday party at a local dance club. Suspending her charter membership in the comfort zone alliance, Jessica opted into one of the best times she could remember. In the span of one short evening, she learned more about herself than in years of comprising her self-image. Selling out had been at a cost to her, supporting the old model of how she was showing up in her life. However, until the occasion presented itself, she chose to hold back. Then, she took a risk and participated despite being afraid. In the process, she created a new operational model for herself.

When we are able to embrace fear and indecision, we move toward our goals, opting into the experiences of growth and change. Like Jessica, when we dare to face ourselves, we are opting into getting onto the larger dance floor of life and no longer sitting on the sidelines.

  1. Keep it simple.

  2. Make your standards easy to understand and measure.

  3. Be conscious of what connects you to your driving values.

Now, recall a time when you knew you sold out, when you cheated yourself and convinced yourself that you could overlook certain things for the sake of _______? Take a moment to get quiet inside, turn inward and listen to the voice and heart of your wisdom.

  1. What was the cost to you of putting your true goals on hold?

  2. What did it feel like to settle for less than you desired?

  3. What might you do the next time you have the chance to opt in?

Changing behaviors means identifying what’s not working and shift or replace with a new behavior. Whether it’s scripting new negotiating models or better managing your time, we can advise and guide your progress. This makes it the ideal time to engage the support of a career coach with experience in helping professionals achieve better, faster, results. At KICKSTART Your Transition we offer a broad range of services to fit your needs


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